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SMILES - Have a look. Take away a smile. |
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I do not spend too much time at the computer. |
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Listen to some music. Makes you feel great! |
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Do you want to shop lift in San Antonio? |
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SMILES!!!!! |
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I kind of like this little guy. He has an attitude. Attitude is good. Now buy some gems!! Please! Please! Please! Was that tough enough? …. Rich |
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Just a thought for all the married guys out there. Wives say they are our best friend in life and it is not our dogs. Try this then. Put your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for a day. At the end of the day when you open the trunk, see who's still happy to see you! I’m only kidding. Do not do this! |
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In Honor of Not too Bright People. In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." On some Swanson frozen dinners -- Serving suggestion: Defrost. (but it is just a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — Do not turn upside down. (Well, duh. A bit late huh?). On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding — “Product will be hot after heating.” (...and you thought?). On packaging for a Rowenta iron — "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)? On Boot's Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only.” (as opposed to...what?). On a Japanese food processor -- “Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts — "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash). On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?). On a child's Superman costume — "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Harrisburg, PA. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs. |
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Sayings that should go away and never come back. *WHOLE NEW LEVEL *OUTSIDE THE BOX *PUSH THE ENVELOPE *HAVE A NICE DAY *WHASUP *MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT *HITS ANOTHER ONE FROM DOWN TOWN *I’M SICK AND TIRED OF…
Send me the ones you wish to see go away. |
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HOT DOG! |
